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A man asked me once if I had ever seen the devil.
I told him I did not believe in the devil, and yet
I had seen him many times: I see him every time
I walk downtown and, looking at those starved
Faces, those signs that read “pregnant & homeless,”
Satan walks right on by, arrogant and unperturbed.
He moves straight through the crowd and steps
With his polished shoes into a department store,
Never turning around, never glancing back.
Sir, I have seen the devil many, many times.
:iconmorsmortisaiunt:

Author's Comments

So this was written with the INTENT of spoken word, but I dunno. It was another English assignment.

Also, yes, I realize I reference Satan/Lucifer quite a bit in my pieces... I guess I just fail at coming up with metaphors, lawl.

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:iconrayviathae:
I actually really like this.

It's a very good metaphor, points out a flaw in our society, and is well written and worded and put together. I'd grade this assignment with an A. One thing to watch out for...

"I see him every time I walk downtown and...Satan walks right on by." It's hard to stay consistent in a sentence when we go off on a description of one element, so it's important to look for that. Maybe say something like:

"I see him every time I walk downtown. I'll look at those starved faces, those signs that read ';pregnant & homeless,' and Satan will walk right on by, arrogant and unperturbed."

Just a suggestion. Still, excellent work!

--
We lie beneath the sea, stars lapping at our feet. I lie to you; you lie to me; we lie beneath the sea.

See?
:iconmorsmortisaiunt:
Yeah, that part was hard to word correctly. I knew something looked funny about it, but I figured since it's going to be read aloud no one will notice, hehe. :P

Thanks very much.
:iconrayviathae:
No problem. I have issues like that all the time that I don't notice or can't quite figure out...

--
We lie beneath the sea, stars lapping at our feet. I lie to you; you lie to me; we lie beneath the sea.

See?

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May 19
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